A house was my home...

 As I sit there in the office next to my father, I can’t help but think how dreadful the ride home is going to be.  Getting the horrible words really put a damper on my morning. I went from being so relieved that I payed off all my enrollment fees for NAU, “Everything looks good Karen”, was what the lady on the other side of the desk said to me. All I could think was, “Wow this day can’t get any better, what a relief.” My dad looks at me with the most proudest smile I have ever seen placed on his face, all I’m thinking is dad I haven’t even started college yet. He tells me he has one more stop before we head back home.  House after house, none of them looking familiar to me but all looking similar to each other. Suddenly my dad makes a stop. Steve … attorney was all I remember when I glanced at the sign placed on the yard. My first thought was, so this is what Kory wants to become. A silly thought I know but I couldn’t think why we were here, until it hit me.

 “Hello, I’m Tomas Hernandez, I came to talk to Steve please, oh, he’s not here, may I speak with you? “ The guy with the glasses sits my dad down in his office but I refuse to go in his office and I sit in the waiting room right across from his office, hearing every word they spoke. I pick up a travel magazine and begin to look through it. I’m amazed at all the beautiful places all over the world; my eyes are glued to this magazine until I heard the attorney guy get on the phone. “Hello Steve? Tomas Hernandez is here to see you. You’re still in Camp Verde?  Yes, oh, yes, you’re certain about that?  There’s nothing we can do? Ok, I will tell him. “

 I sit there with a frozen, emotionless look.  My dad and the attorney guy begin to talk and talk, but for some reason I hear nothing. Maybe it was because for that very moment I wanted to alienate myself from everyone around me or maybe it was because I was shocked I saw this coming but didn’t realize how soon the occasion would be. My use of listening came back to me when I heard the attorney say, “You have until May 16^th to get all your belongings out.”  My dad shakes hands with the attorney guy. The attorney guy smiles a friendly smile at me but I couldn’t find myself to smile back. I know he is not to blame but I couldn’t explain why I felt like this, Karen not smiling, that’s rare.

As we’re walking back to the truck my dad tries to comfort me, and tells me,” We’ll be ok, don’t worry we’ll move to our little house next door, it might be even better I’ll be able to save more money and help you with college.” I could tell it was very hard for him to look at me while he tried to comfort me.  I thought to myself don’t show him you’re in pain, don’t show him you’re in pain and I made myself say, “Don’t worry dad, I know we’ll be ok.”  

I was right, the ride home was incredibly dreadful. “You have until May 16^th to get your belongings out” was like a repeating song in my mind. My father acted like he forgot what had happened in the office and tried to conversate with me.  I did my best not to show him once again how much it hurt me. I even think he began to think I forgot about it. We get home and I go to my room. My dad left to play golf with one of his buddy’s. I was home alone. I listened to, “the house that built me” by Miranda Lambert, and I began to cry, hard. I had to control my breathing to make myself stop.

I wasn’t upset because we had to move into a smaller house, and that I would have to share a room, or because we would lose most of our material things but because it felt like all my childhood and memories was being ripped away from me.  Like Miranda Lambert said, “It was the house that built me,” and having the house taken away from me feels like a piece of me is gone forever.